Tuesday, October 19, 2010

BZZZZZZZ Division Season 3 Update: Fail Bowl I - Dynasty 0, Zeon 0 ...of course


After five games this season, there are so many great stories we could be leading off with. Defending champ Trollchester United is top of the table again, picking up right where it left off, and leading us to belive that, just maybe, last season's title wasnt a total fluke. Promoted side Aussie Basements FC is surprising nobody with their success; they've been winners at every level and BZZZZZZZ is proving to be no exception to the rule. And of course, the resurgent Mild-Mannered Men deserve mention as well, showing themselves to be in the thick of the title hunt as they prove that last season's struggles were an anomaly. Yes, those are all fantastic stories we could be focusing on right now, but that's not what we're gonna' do. Instead we turn our attention to the bottom dwellers of the division, meeting for the first time this season in what could only be termed an exercise in futility...


Dynasty 0 - 0 Principality of Zeon

That scoreline pretty much sums up their entire season thus far, as these two sides are sitting at the bottom of BZZZZZZZ Division right now and yesterday's match shows exactly why. 90 minutes, 6 yellow cards, NO goals. Not only did both sides have their chances to score, but they also each managed to get a goal called back for a petty foul. Zeon lost out when Afshin Sirkonan's 6th minute header off an Irving Sansom cross was nullified when referee George Buske (S2 H9, naturally) ruled that Sirkonan had gained an illegal advantage with a shirt pull of a Dynasty defender. And in the 62nd minute, Dynasty lost out on a potential game-winner when Rogerio Ramalho was called for a foul as he rose above his defender to head the ball past Zeon keeper Hamid Farimani. Clearly, we have a case of two teams that just can't catch a break.

That Dynasty would find themselves in last place at this point in the season probably isn't much of a surprise. Murikan is notorious for starting out slowly, then finally pulling it together. Last season, he managed to finish near the top of the table. Whether or not he can pull off a similar feat remains to be seen, however.

Zeon, on the other hand, has got to be the most colossal disappointment in the history of /sp/ league. In seasons past, Cruceh has perfected the art of the second place finish, but after 5 games, he sits 7th out of 8, with a meager 2 points, ahead of Dynasty only because of a greater total goals scored. Quite simply, results like this are absolutely unacceptable given Cruceh's history of excellence. Why Zeon can't get the results has been the topic of rampant specualation. His side, on paper, is one of /sp/ League's strongest and Cruceh is highly regraded as a brilliant and astute manager. Could it be that he's lost control of the locker room, and his players just won't play for him to the best of their abilities anymore? If something doesn't change, it's only a matter of time before Cruceh ragequits, leaving Murikan as commisioner and dooming our entire league straight to hell. In the meantime, we can only hope that Zeon manage turn things around, but honestly, it is a BIG FUCKING HOLE they are in right now.

Current BZZZZZZZ Division Standings
1. Trollchester United, 12 pts; 2. Aussie Basements FC, 11 pts; 3. Mild-Mannered Men, 10 pts; 4. DOUK City FC, 7 pts; 5. Bzzz AFC, 7 pts; 6. BRETTFAVRES, 4 pts, 7. Principality of Zeon, 2 pts; 8. Dynasty, 2 pts

Sunday, October 3, 2010



Player Biographies - Afshin Sirkonan

Afshin Sirkonan plays for /sp/ League club Principality of Zeon and for the Iranian national team. Sirkonan has been a junior national team member since 2006, when he debuted for first professional league season and a member of the Iranian national team since 2009.

In his time with Zeon, he has gained fame and fortune. His play tells it all - 3 seasons, 53 games, 19 goals, 24 assists. This 2 time league MVP has had his ups and downs, and is almost always marked by the opposition. However, he has battled and has the most points ever in the history of the league.

His nicknames include – the new Zidane – in reference to the Algerian playmaker whose role he has inherited at Zeon and "Persian Messi" for his remarkable playmaking and ball handling abilities resembling F.C. Barcelona and Argentina star Lionel Messi. In reference to his game, Sirkonan concluded "My technique and feeling for the ball is the Irianian side to my game. The discipline, attitude and always-give-your-all is the Zeon part."

Friday, October 1, 2010

Season 4 preview: BZZZZZZZZZZZ

Hello Managers! Welcome to the fourth season of 4chan Xpert Eleven!

We will be focusing on the BZZZZZZ Division, like last year, because it is the pros, if you want to grace the front page of this coveted blog be better.

1. Aussie Basements FC: This team is scary, mainly because it has won all divisions it has been in, this team is the epitome of balance and will have a great chance of competing for the title.

2. BRETTFAVRES: I don't expect much of this team, mainly because it is named after Brett Favre, expect a 3 interception game with a QB rating of 37.1 against PoZ

3. Bzzzz FC: Another team that is new to the division, but I don't expect much of this team. They do have a decent team player wise, but I am not convinced in the manager's skills. However, you should be wary to take this team softly. Making strides every year, but always seeming to fall short, they might be able to pull it all together and win it all.

4. PICK TO WIN IT DOUK City FC: If you don't bet on DOUK you are an idiot, he has dominated everywhere, his team is scary good, his managing is genius, no team from the past seasons will give him a run for his money, even though there are only two veterans of the original ten of the division, their teams will not be able to handle DOUK City FC.

5. Dynasty: One of the original ten from the start of the league, I picked this team to finish last in the division last year, but he surged through and competed until the end, where he decided to play his youth like a pansy. His highly touted star player Dakota Gorski is getting up there in the years, and will not be able to play for much longer. Without his Midfield, this team has a weak attack, average defense, and an even more average Goalkeeper. Murikan is quite possibly the smartest manager in the league, but stupidest talent agent, watch out for this team.

6. Mild-Mannered Men: Stroyent did the impossible last year, he led his team that was seriously lacking in power after a championship season and rallied them to barely squeeze out a 4th place finish, keeping him out of regulation. It is a story that you'd think Disney would film, but it is just Mild-Mannered Men. I am convinced this strength will carry over to this season, and he will start incredibly strong, I also think that he will fight to the end with DOUK City FC. Or he can be absolute shit again, it's his choice.

7.Principality of Zeon: Another team that ALWAYS seems to finish in second place, that will change this year, I'm sure of it. Cruceh is a pretty good manager, with a balance of tactic smarts and talent smarts, and his team can be seen as proof. His team is getting up there as well, and will not be able to compete for much longer unless he can hold onto his money, which he can never do. It is now or never for Zeon.

8. Trollchester United: The other original two teams that is still in the top division, Trollchester United defied all odds and finished in 1st place, but I believe that to be a fluke. Trollchester is an incredibly talented team with an incredibly talented manager, but will not be able to compete against Mild-Mannered Men and the always strong DOUK City FC. However, like Dynasty, I have been surprised before, and I don't know what to make of this team so far.

POWER RANKINGS

1. DOUK City FC.
2. Mild-Mannered Men
3. Trollchester United
4. Principality of Zeon
5. Aussie Basements FC
6. Bzzzz FC
7. Dynasty
8. BRETTFAVRES