Qatar Divison: Midseason Update / Betting Odds

We've just passed the midseason fixtures flip and this season in the Qatar Division is shaping up to be, by far, the most competitive in the history of the /sp/ League's top tier. With tie games dominating the landscape, overall point totals are relatively low and no one is mathematically out of the running just yet. Despite the relative parity, though, some teams are managing to separate themselves from the massive clusterfuck and look to be gaining momentum for the second half of the season. Meanwhile, the fight to escape relegation is looking like it's gonna' be a brutal no-holds-barred slugfest. Here's how things are shaping up, along with the the Gazzetta's odds for who has the best shot to take the title and who looks like they are destined for the drop...


The Title Contenders

Oranje (1st place, 16pts, +13 GD, odds for title - 3:1)

This team is starting to look like the real deal. Veterans Carlo Guarneri and Margrott Sidwell are teaming up with young studs Mark van Bommel and Ingi Sigfurson to absolutely devastating effect. Oranje doesn't just have the most points, they lead the division in goals scored and goal differential, too. Four of the top seven players on the points scored table are on Oranje; how's that for a dominant statistic? At this point, the team that won /sp/ League's first ever championship is in great shape to snag a second title.


Mild-Mannered Men (2nd place, 14pts, +6 GD, odds for title - 4:1)

As the only other undefeated team in Qatar, MMM is once again proving to be a legit title contender. All-time leading goal scorer Nikolai Nesmachny is once again having a stellar season with his [tied for] league-leading 6 goals and has been getting excellent service from midfielders Amado Villas, Joromir Adler, and Bernardo Ariza. Back-to-back wins against Oh The Lulz have helped this team find their form and it's looking like they've escaped their early-season sluggishness with a pair of convincing victories. When it comes time to pick a favorite to win it all, don't count these guys out.


Trollchester United (3rd place, 13pts, +11GD, odds for the title - 6:1)

The defending champs are still in the chase, but at times, things have looked a bit shaky. Fortunately for United, Dennis Gianasia is back to his outstanding form of a couple seasons ago and he's once again leading the league in scoring. An old and creaky roster is being boosted by the energy of younger players such as GK Benjamin Clark, M Rax Grissman, and F Joran van der Sloot, but how long can these young guns keep propping up the old vets? Right now, Trollchester has to be way more consistent in getting victories than they've shown in the first half of the season. If they can manage to string together wins instead of ties, then an unprecedented third title will be theirs.


On the Fence

Strong Island (4th place, 11pts, -5GD, odds for the title - 12:1)

What the fuck happenned to these guys? A couple weeks ago, it looked like they could win it all. Now, after back-to-back defeats at the hands of Bzzz AFC, they're in a free fall. If Strong Island is going to get themselves back into the thick of things, they have GOT to start scoring goals. Otherwise, they're going to be destined for a relegation battle. Star forward Kieran Clare needs to break out of his slump ASAP if the Guidos are going to have a chance. In the meantime, half a season of scraping out close results finally seems to have caught up with them.


Battle at the Bottom: The Fight to Avoid Relegation

Bzzz AFC (5th place, 9pts, -1GD, odds to be relegated - 3:1)

Thanks to Strong Island, this team is out of the cellar and into the safety zone for now. Can they actually string some results together and manage to stay in Qatar? That's yet to be determined. What's interesting, though, is that on the list of the Top 10 players with the most x11 selections this season, 5 of them play for Bzzz. Clearly, the team has some guys who are playing on a high level, they just need a few more people to step up. With a boost in form from winning their last two games, just maybe, that could be enough to get them over the hump.


Aussie Basements FC (6th place, 8pts, -7GD, odds to be relegated - 4:1

Aside from the stellar play of goalkeeper Thomas Fischer, not much has gone well on the pitch for the Bogans. The team has yet to really gel and play it's best this season. Despite their poor form, manager Joselol just might have a few tricks up his sleeves to keep his side out of relegation.


Oh the Lulz (7th place, 6pts, -6GD, odds to be relegated - 3:2)

This side has done little since their opening game win against Aussie Basements. A win in their upcoming match can pull them off the floor, but with Bzzz AFC in great form and all OtL's momentum headed downward, another loss seems to be in the cards. At this point, relegation looks highly likely.


DOUK City FC (8th place, 5pts, -11GD, odds to be relegated - 2:5)

What is there really to say about this one? As long as manager IggyStar remains AWOL, this team doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell at staying up in a highly competitive Qatar Divison.

Division I Update/Power Rankings

In honor of FIFA's recent decision to award the 2022 World Cup to some shithole desert country the size of Connecticut that has expected gametime temperatures of 105 degrees and NO GODDAMN INFRASTRUCTURE, it seems that Division I has been renamed the Qatar Division instead of BZZZZZZ, which is now assigned to Cruceh's branch of Division II, allowing him to imagine that he never got relegated. Whatever. We have better things to focus our attention on, like the MASSIVE CLUSTERFUCK at the top of /sp/ League three games into the season. Except for Bzzz AFC, which has lost every game it has played so far, each team in Qatar Division has only one win, with just one point separating 1st from 7th place in the standings. Let's see if we can shed some light on who, at this point, really is the strongest. Remember, these are not the standings, they are POWER RANKINGS, a subjective asessment of what teams are stronger. Just because the 1st place team isn't ranked #1 is no reason to bitch and moan and get all butthurt. That being said, here we go...

QATAR DIVISION POWER RANKINGS

1. Mild-Mannered Men - At this point, even though they sit at second place in the standings, Stroyent's squad has got to be considered the favorites until proven otherwise. Their starting eleven is a formidable group of veterans and the manager has what it takes to win it all, because he's done it before. Until they lose a game, there's only one place for MMM to sit, and that's the top.
   
   
2. Strong Island - With a win in their previous match against two-time defending champ Trollchester United, the Guidos are proving that they will be a force to be reckoned with. With ties against MMM and Aussie Basements FC, Strong Island has gone up against three solid teams led by three of the most distinguished managers in /sp/ League and not lost a single game. Strong Island is in it to win it.
   
   
3. Trollchester United - Despite a bit of a hiccup in their narrow loss to Strong Island in the last match, United has proven that they have what it takes to be a dominant team, notably in their 4-0 pounding of an Oh The Lulz side that had simliarly destroyed Aussie Basements the week before. Speaking of proving themselves, Trollchester has done all that and more with their two titles and unmatched five seasons in Division I. D1V3GRA55 has shown himself to be a winner year in and year out, never finishing below 3rd place in any season. On top of that, his team is so fucking old, that this is probably his last shot at glory before a third of the squad retires. Never count out a championship team that's making it's last stand.
   
   
4. Oranje - Yes, this team is still in first place, but they still have a bit to prove before they can be considered worthy of a Top 3 ranking. Their victory came against a Bzzz AFC team that everyone seems to be beating up on this season, so what does that prove? Having had one tie against Trollchester, their other draw is against Oh The Lulz, a team that Troll United beat in dominating fashion. Advantage, Trollchester. Oranje will have to settle for 4th for now, with a great chance to prove their worth in their next match against Mild-Mannered Men.
   
   
5. Aussie Basements FC - After an embarrasing loss to Oh The Lulz made for a disastrous start to the season, the Bogans have steadily improved and re-established themselves as a solid team. Yesterday's shoutout win over DOUK City FC showed that, just maybe, the opening match was an anomaly. Manager Joselol has distingushed himself with titles at the lower divisions and regular selections to the Xpert Eleven team. With momentum in their favor and a strong managerial pedigree, the Aussies are poised to be a contender.
   
   
6. DOUK City FC - Despite the same record as Aussie Basements, City's form seems to be heading in the wrong direction. With the Aussies getting the nod due to their head to head victory over DOUK, City is going to have to shake themselves out of a streak that saw them win their first game, but then tie, and then lose. With their next game away at Trollchester, things might get worse for IggyStar before they get better.
   
   
7. Oh The Lulz - Consistency is the key for this team to improve its ranking. Good teams just don't win easily one week, and then get blown out the next. A tie against Oranje was a good start at finding some stability, but to earn some respect in a tough division, Oh The Lulz will really need to establish a good run of form before anyone can expect them to be for real.
   
   
8. Bzzz AFC - The only team not to get a single point from the first three matches, is Bzzz AFC this season's >Dynosty? Right now, it looks like this side will be nothing more than cannon fodder. How long before Lazy_Student ragequits? Two weeks? Three weeks? Tomorrow?

Qatar Divison Standings

1. Oranje (5p, +4GD)
2. Mild-Mannered Men (5p, +1GD)
3. Strong Island (5p, +1GD)
4. Trollchester United (4p, +3GD)
5. Oh The Lulz (4p, 0GD)
6. DOUK City FC (4p, 0GD)
7. Aussie Basements FC (4p, -3GD)
8. Bzzz AFC (0p, -6GD)

BZZZZZZZ Division Rundown

After the first two games in Season 3, here's how BZZZZZZ Division has sorted itself out so far...

1. Trollchester United – Right now, Trollchester sits at the top of the table having won their first two games. Whether or not United is a legit title contender, however, is far from certain. The addition of Bruce Chapman is a slight boost to a midfield sorely in need of star power, but the injury to Casey Watson will keep them from reaching their full potential for some time. United’s two victories have been rather lackluster 1-0 wins against a Dynasty side that is notorious for starting slow and a FreeBags team without an active manager. Still, Troll United remains the only team with a full six-out-of-six points, which puts them in first for now. Only time, and the rigors of an increasingly difficult schedule, will tell if they can maintain it.

2. Strong Island – With one win and one tie, Strong Island sits in second place based on a higher “Goals For” value. After a disappointing slide in the second half of last season, Strong Island looks to be in solid form entering Season 3 with legit results over first-rate opponents, first a 1-1 draw against title-holders Mild-Mannered Men and a convincing 3-1 victory over UMAD FC. Manager Strong_Island has shown his craftiness not only in selecting tactics, but in his willingness to play unconventional formations such as a 5-3-2 or a 4-2-4. Combined with star striker Kieran Clare already in top scoring form, at this point, the Guidos look like a definite threat to stick around in the top half of the table.

3. Principality of Zeon – Ahead of NEST FC on goal differential, Zeon sits comfortably in third place. Their opening match was a yawn-inducing 0-0 tie, notable only for manager Cruceh apparent mind-reading act in guessing NEST’s formation. But in their second game against Dynasty, Zeon came alive, cruising to a 3-1 win over Dynasty. Even at this early point in the season, we can definitely assume three things about Principality of Zeon: that Cruceh is a managerial force to be reckoned with, midfielder Afshin Sirkonan (last game: 1 goal, 2 assists, 12 rating) is a superstar that opposing managers must somehow contend with, and Zeon will challenge for the title this season. With their next game against bottom-dweller FreeBags FC, it goes without saying that we can look for Zeon to move up in the standings.

4. NEST FC – With a stunning victory over Season 2 champions Mild-Mannered Men, NEST FC has turned heads and raised eyebrows all over /sp/ league. A well-balanced side with the skill to finish mid-table at the very least, NEST looks certain to challenge for the final safe spot, or possibly even higher in BZZZZZZZ Division. Escaping the first two games unbeaten against last season’s top two teams shows that the potential is great for this NEST side. A win next game against Strong Island would prove that NEST FC is definitely for real.

5. UMAD FC – Finding itself stuck in mid-table with one win and one loss, UMAD FC is a side that still should not be counted out. After rolling to a 3-0 opening victory over FreeBags, UMAD hit a bump in the road, getting trolled 3-1 by Strong Island and their awkward-but-somehow-effective 4-2-4 formation. Even at age 34, Shay French remains a crucial part of UMAD’s midfield, and despite a loss from a team with a history of somewhat inconsistent results, you can never truly count out manager HugoReyes and his ability to keep his team moving forward and challenging for the top spots. Certainly, UMAD will be in a fight to stay out of the relegation zone, but it’s a battle they are well-equipped for,

6. Mild-Mannered Men – Probably the shock of the season thus far has been the slow start of Season 2 champions Mild-Mannered Men. After drawing against Strong Island then falling 3-1 to NEST FC, manager Stroyent is working hard to get his team back in a groove. Top forward Nikolai Nesmachny has yet to find his scoring touch, but once he and his teammates find their form, only a total moron would rule out the possibility of a MMM title repeat. Still, with the smaller division resulting in a shorter season, Stroyent’s men will have to get on track sooner than later, or kiss their hopes of repeat glory goodbye.

7. Dynasty – With two losses in two games, Dynasty remains a puzzle wrapped in an enigma. Murikan postures himself as God’s gift to Xpert Eleven, and yet, his team has underperformed. Midfielder Dakota Gorski is given almost messianic reverence, but in actuality, has yet to tally a single goal or assist and has been largely invisible. Maybe Murikan’s approach to team-building has been somewhat misguided. Maybe his aging roster is just too old to be able to reach their form quickly enough in the shortened time constraints of a smaller division. What we do know is that Dynasty always picks their game up in the second half of the season. Whether or not it will be enough to save them from relegation is a whole other matter.

8. FreeBags FC - At this point, there is little that can be said about this once-proud former champion. Unless BagsFlyFree returns from his hiatus to lead his side to glory once again, the only drama regarding FreeBags will be whether they will finish the season winless, or manage to pull a magical ClingingMars-style result out of thin air every now and then.

BZZZZZZZZ: Preview of Season 3

The birds are chirping, Cruceh, NEST, and Divegrass are predicting championships, and Murikan is off of his meds, you all know what that means people:

BZZZZZZZZ Season starts soon.

We will preview the games that are to be played this week, and the power rankings heading into this season.

UMAD FC vs. FreeBags FC - HugoReyes can see this as a day off, as FreeBags FC is a husk of its former self. Manager FreeBags has failed to show up for a month now and the predictions for this team are grim.

UMAD FC has come off of a great season, pulling off impressive wins over the season, will look to continue the trend this season and try to dethrone Mild-Mannered Men as the /sp/ League Champion. He easily has the best shot out of what I see is the big three (MMM, Zeon, UMAD)

UMAD has a very balanced team altogether, and will see about pulling it all together this season, which I believe he will very early on.

Trollchester United vs. Dynasty - A Troll Bowl if there ever is one, D1V3GRA55 will try to get revenge against Dynasty for knocking his team out of playoff contention last season.

Trollchester United, if it has anything, is consistency. You would be hard pressed to find a team that is more consistent than the one D1V3GRA55 has pulled together. His Midfield is not very strong, but he makes up for it by being very aggressive on the pitch, usually attempting to reduce the influence of the Midfield to being as minimal as possible if he is outmatched on it.

What can be said about Dynasty is how the hell can manager Murikan make such strange calls for his squad and still win games? Say what you want about Murikan's choices for his lineup, his mind-numbingly erratic patterns, his inconsistency overall, is that he is a very skilled manager. That is the only way I could have seen him win so many games last season is his firm grasp on tactics and playcalling.

NEST FC vs. Principality of Zeon - NEST FC tries to establish itself as a force to be reckoned with, and what better way to show that then beating championship contender Principality of Zeon?

NEST FC this year has all the right pieces to making a championship run, it is just up to him to put all of the pieces together and make his team a well tuned machine. NEST. has playmakers everywhere on his team, and he could very well be a sleeper contender this season, that is if his players decide to show up to the games and actually play for the mostly disgruntled manager.

Cruceh has quite possibly the strongest team in the league, it is going to be up to him, however, to keep it that way. Principality of Zeon has a star Goaltender, a lockdown Defense, a strong Midfield and a decent Attack, they could win games with their defense alone. Cruceh is also among the elite when it comes to calling plays and tactics, being very strong in all of these fields makes Principality of Zeon the number one contender for taking Mild-Mannered Men's championship away from them.

Mild-Mannered Men vs. Strong Island - Stroyent tries to continue his championship caliber ways as Strong Island tries to find an identity for his team.

Mild-Mannered Men, what can't be said about this team besides they are very strong, Stroyent is a fantastic manager, and they have the momentum of a championship behind them. There are virtually no flaws with this team, and others understood that last year, as he only lost three times last season during his championship season. Teams will be hard pressed to find a weakness with this team and exploit it this season, it may very well be a repeat for Stroyent and the Mild-Mannered Men squad.

Strong Island is a very quiet team, not much comes out of the front office, the press does not cover him, which makes this team even more of an enigma. Since this team is such a mystery, however, they are one of the more interesting teams coming into Season 3. Strong_Island really had a lot of prowess managing his team as he started out strong, but slowed down in a dramatic fashion as the season dragged on. If this team has any hope of staying out of relegation, it will be saving all of that energy and preserving it throughout the season, I do not see this team going on a championship run anytime soon.

Match of the Day: Trollchester United vs. Dynasty

BZZZZZ Power Rankings: Preseason

1. Mild-Mannered Men: An incredibly strong team with virtually no holes, they have a very real chance at repeating.

2. Principality of Zeon: Very balanced team and a skilled manager to boot, do not take this team lightly as they will having Mild-Mannered Men's title in their sights all season.

3. Trollchester United: A consistent team, will be able to easily hold a third place position throughout the season.

4T. UMAD FC: I really can't say what will happen in the fourth spot, while he had impressive wins during last season, he also had very strange losses against obviously weaker teams, this team, if they can perform like they can against the juggernauts, will easily not relegate, but if they can't, the answer is in the air, it is a very cloudy situation for now.

4T. Dynasty: Their success depends on if Murikan can actually control his team. He is a skilled enough manager to finish as high as third, but that is if this team can be consistent enough, if they play like they did during the first half of last season, this team is an automatic relegation. Murikan is great with tactics, but an absolutely dreadful talent scout.

6. NEST FC: Let me set the record straight, NEST FC is in no way, shape or form out of the race, he may very well finish as high as 3rd place this season, but his success depends on how well his team will perform against the heavily favored big three.

7. Strong Island: A very strange team, I do no know where they fill finish, maybe they won't be relegated, maybe they will, since so little comes out from manager Strong_Island no one can really be sure but himself.

8. FreeBags FC: If FreeBags miraculously comes back before the season starts, he is a shoe in for the championship race, if not, then this team is an automatic relegation.